Greetings, fellow scientists! Fluffcake is the one culinary craze nobody can explain. As part of kicking off the Island’s first ever holiday festivities, Aunt Arctic brought this spin on the traditional fruitcake to our feast. This peculiar combination of fruit, cake and a fluffy fish has proven to be (almost) inedible for the ordinary penguin. This got me and my lab partners thinking… if you can’t eat fluffcake, what can you actually do with it?
With the biggest Island rumour being that by the next Holiday Party, Rory will create an entire IGLOO out of this stuff, we decided to test out the strength of this supposed dessert for ourselves. But first, gadgets! To help us focus solely on the test subject, we used Fluff-D Glasses to limit our eyesight to just fluffy fish and cake. (This was a mistake…)
Experiment 1: Flying Fluffcake
Experiment notes: No fractures were observed on the test subject, however scientist complained of back pain. An ice pack was applied to the scientist (and the fluffcake – but nothing happened).
Experiment 2: Dance, dance, quake
Experiment notes: After one round of Team Dance Battle, the dance floor in Island Central violently shook as the force of dancers hitting the ground triggered a small quake. This is normal, and supposedly safe, however the fluffcake remained unaffected.
Experiment 3: Bay Break-up
Experiment notes: One of the lab team dressed up as a pineapple looking for a bay during the holidays – as determined by a game of Ink or Swim. The aim of the experiment was to become “bays” with the fluffcake, and then break their heart with an immediate breakup. The conversation was recorded.
Pineapple: bay?
Fluffcake: .
Pineapple: bay!
Fluffcake: .
Pineapple: ur no longer my bay
Experiment notes (continued): The fluffcake demonstrated great emotional strength and… nothing happened. The lab team member remained in the pineapple costume for the rest of the day.
Experiment 4: Anvil Surviv-il
Experiment notes: If anvils can tip the Island, surely they can break a fluffcake? The answer is no. The fluffcake was able to hold the entire weight of the giant anvil easily. No need to worry about a giant anvil hitting your fluffcake igloo.
In conclusion…
Fluffcake truly is indestructible – however not to the few penguins who have the skill of being able to eat a slice while retaining an intact jaw. Our entire lab applauds you. Happy National Fruitcake Day!
Have you ever tried fruitcake? Personally, I haven’t – but if Olaf’s Frozen Adventure is anything to go by, this stuff seems pretty solid. What about fluffcake? It’s available FREE at the community feast in Island Central! Let me know what you think about fluffcake in the comments below! Until next time, penguins…
